When Jackie’s father passed on a few years ago I went to my first Jewish burial service.  I remember how strange everything felt, the amazing cultural differences in the faiths (I was raised Catholic but never really practiced the faith.  I would describe myself as more spiritual than religious right now.)  The austerity and realness of the service struck me.  A plain wooden box, a grey sky and a mound of dirt.  It was very different from the Catholic services I had attended.  Less pagentry, more recognition of the cycles of existence.  While we were in the small building at the cemetary before the burial service I was sitting there with Jackie’s fathers side of the family.  Luke had just arrived from Korea a few months before and none of them had met him yet, but they were all looking at the few pictures of him I had in my wallet.  One of Jackie’s cousins is married to an Irish man who converted to Judaism from Catholicism.  He asked what faith we were going to raise Luke in, and I said that since neither one of us practiced any particular faith we were just going to raise him spiritually and let him make his own decisions.  He said that he didn’t think that was fair, that I had been given a structure, a faith, when I was growing up.  Though I ultimately rejected it, it was still a guide I had been given at a formative age.  He said he felt it was unfair to give a child nothing.  What he said really struck me, no one had ever put it so plainly or expressed it so simply and I saw a truth in it.  It changed my thinking in a deep way and led us to begin questioning our spiritual/religious life more seriously.

So began our search for a faith.  We ruled out Judaism because neither one of us really knew anything about it.  I just couldn’t do Catholicism - I spent 12 years in parochial school and it never resonated with me.  I have done a bit of Buddhist meditation and briefly considered Buddhism but, while I think the meditation practice has great value, I don’t know much about organized Buddhism and somehow I think that the essence would be lost in an organized setting.  So we were left with Christianity.  I have no problem with Jesus Christ, I always felt a connection with him and his message.  I have some understanding or background due to my Catholic training so it’s not entirely foreign to me.  Jackie is open to it and to learning about it.   So we began attending a small contemporary Christian church in our town a few months ago.  So far it has been a good experience, though I must confess I am wary of all organized religion and on some level I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop – for some position or action of theirs that I find totally unacceptable to come up.  I’m hoping for the best, but prepared for the less than.